Secret's Out

Today I wrote this on my regular blog.

You know I have been on a weight loss journey. I have cried. Missed food. Had to cope with my feelings instead of eating to cover them. Worked hard. Cried some more. Changed everything (EVERYTHING) about the way we live. Researched recipes. Started cooking with quinoa. Counted every single calorie. And fat gram. And sugar gram. It has been SO hard. But I have lost 90 pounds...half of what I need to lose to be at a healthy BMI.

I want you to know how hard it has been and how hard I have worked and how much I have cried.

I'm afraid to tell you that I had Gastric Bypass Surgery in March of this year. Mostly because I think you will think I took the "easy' way out. That I am somehow cheating. That I can't be proud of myself because the surgery did all the work. I am afraid of that because that's exactly what I used to think about Gastric Bypass Surgery. I judged. I scoffed. I misunderstood.

I want you to think I have earned this 90 pound weight loss. I don't want you to think it was given to me by a surgeon three months ago. I don't want you to think that I couldn't do it on my own through sheer willpower. But, the truth is, I couldn't do it on my own.

It was the right decision for me. A decision I prayed about long and hard before committing to. A hard decision. The best decision I have made in a long time.

I am glad I said it. But also scared.