pre-surgery visit

i wish every visit i had to my clinic didn't end with a snarky blog post, but it is what it is.  i met with my surgeon today. he strode into the room, shook my hand and said,

"so, are you ready to prove them all wrong?!!"

"prove all who wrong?"

"well, i don't mind telling you, pretty much everyone in this office doubts you can be successful after surgery. but i kept telling them, 'nope! i think Betty will get it and pull through!', but they were doubtful."

at that point i wish he did mind telling me.

it's hard to be a life-long fatty and feel like nobody believes you can lose weight, least of all yourself, and then to have a team of professionals expecting your failure is sucky.  so sucky.

can i do it?
i hope so.

the little fat-girl in my mind screams "no! you can't do it. look at all of teh times you've tried to lose weight before. this is no different."

but i am going to try and silence her.
forever.